Como enamorar a las chicas

Mi cara es desechable y
se aguanta con imánes.
Tengo una parecida a la tristeza.
Tengo una de un baquero rígido e imperturbable (cual
tiene un cígarro puesto entre sus labíos y esta sin afeitar hace tres días).
Tengo una hecha de hojas y ramitas cual uso cuando estoy escondido
por tu casa velandote en lo que te bañas.
Tengo una que hace ver como si me importara lo que me estubieses diciendo.
Y tengo una con espejos puestos como ojos que cuando estamos frente a frente,
tu me dices, “Tienes ojos bellísimos. Cuando me encuentro dentro
dellos me siento protegida.”
Pero detrás de cada una desas caras hay solo un cráneo sin expresión.

- Translated from English by Andy Riverbed


My face is held on by magnets.
I can take my face off.
I have one face that is my sad face.
I have one face that is my stern, imperturbable face (that
one has some stubble and a cigar pinched between the lips).
I have one face that has leaves and twigs glued to it so I can hide
out in front of your house and watch you shower.
I have one face that looks intrigued about what you’re saying.
And I have one that has mirror-eyes so when you look into them
you say, “You have the most beautiful eyes. When I look into
them I feel safe.”
But behind every face is an expressionless skull.

- Sam Pink


D Holidey

Holidey sent the Riverbed his new shit. The Riverbed thinks that Holidey is bringing it. The Riverbed thinks the masses should get with it. Check out Holidey’s Noise-Hop.

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Wall Attacks

Wall Attack #3 has long been over. The Riverbed was sidelined by academic obligations, but now Wall Attack #4 is ready and will be destroying the streets and making the walls sing much farther than Gainesville.

New fashion models for American Apparel special spring series: DIY, the Culprits in their Fatboy McPopcorn as Mr. Riverbed shirts which will soon be on sell just like the Riverbed’s Damaged is on sale at the Wayward Council and maybe soon from his own hands for ten dollars ($10!). Hit him up at andy.riverbed (at) yahoo.com for details. The book costs ten dollars, the shirts cost seven.

Fatboy McPopcorn


Matty D’Angelo


Rily Fink


Andy Riverbed


Check out where Wall-Attack #3 got to:

The Sky



Gainesville


St. Augustine


Miami


Check out all of the Wall-Attack #3 pics HERE.


Riverbed's Summer Tour

Andy Riverbed will be on tour this summer, with Circus Circus and the Mystery Books, hitting up portions of South Florida, and Puerto Rico.

Riverbed poems have been published at Libelo Weekly #3. Check out “Last Night on the Way to My Apartment” and “I Touch a Button” HERE.

And a poem at decomP. Check out “Tasted like peanut-butter and guava-jelly.”

**UPDATE**

In a post DiGangi made about spilling coffee on his laptop and that the Jargon would be interrupted for a bit, haters are hating on "Tasted like peanut-butter and jelly." Check that out HERE.

**UPDATE NUMERO DOS**

Not everyone hates "Tasted like peanut-butter and guava jelly." Some people claim to actually be reading it. Check that out HERE.

AND MORE IN THIS NUMERO DOS UPDATED

Tao Lin is Blacklisted

And just because the Riverbed loves it when people piss other people off by really doing nothing wrong, this picture, that was taken by an unnamed compatriot of the Riverbed's from what is rumored to be the old office room of the Florida Review at UCF, is available for all to see.

The Riverbed's initial intention was to see if señor Lin would post up an email chat between the Riverbed and the omnipotent being, Titular, about the Riverbed's and Lin's excursions through Gainesville during the Fest last Halloween. In this conversation the Riverbed told Titular of Lin getting followed and solicited by college sluts and how the Riverbed and Lin took them up to the Riverbed's apartment, leaving the girls with bloody faces.

Lin will not post this email, but here is the photo of Tao Lin being blacklisted at the Florida review at UCF.



**UPDATE NUMERO TRES**

The Riverbed's EveryDayYeah e-book, Afternoon Drinking is Okay, was promoed as something cool by Disproductions. Check that out HERE.

Radiation Newsletter is looking for submissions of anything you might desire.

Odradek

How to Go Too Far

Only those who
do forever
matter and

only the suffered
will go to heaven;

the rest will roam
as uglyfuckingspirits;

if things
do change and
I’m wrong,

that’s a
regret I’ll have to
deal with.


New Riverbed poems have been published. Check out: “On Wall-Attacks (i),” “On Wall-Attacks (ii),” “On Wall-Attacks (iii),” and “People who were.” The Riverbed was invited to collaborate in Titular’s project, The Passion of Mel Gibson. Check out “The Man without a Face”.



The Riverbed is no longer sidelined; he is off the bench and running the streets again. More streets will be attacked and ruined, he promises. The Riverbed will be on the streets of St. Augustine and Miami soon, so if interested in anything, hit him up at andy.riverbed (at) yahoo.com.




A really fucking-awesome band, The Ruins of West Palm Beach, was interviewed HERE.

391 is now back in action. They are inviting people to make footage and submit it; the Riverbed is planning on working on this project; if interested in collaborating, hit him up at andy.riverbed (at) yahoo.com

Krammer Abrahams has a story published HERE.

Paperwall #13 is out. Check it out HERE.

Chelsea Martin has a book out by Future Tense Books.

MuuMuu House books are, and in the future will be, available at the Wayward Council.


There’s an article on MuuMuu house in the March issue of Nylon magazine, so if you’re not a hipster tell all your hipster friends.



Translations!


apestá

La vieja
Hubbard

fue a
su gabeta

y se dío cuenta
que algún
duendesito

le había bajao
sus pali
otra vez.

- Translated from English by Andy Riverbed


so jaded

Old Mother
Hubbard

went to
her cupboard

and realized
some redundantly
little leprechaun

had watered down
her laudanum stash
again.

- Dennis Mahagin


aviso adelantao

Peter Peter
comé-calabazas,

si te
tiras
uno mas
desos

tuber-peos
intrusivos

antes de la
la pregunta en ¿Quién
quiere ser millionario?,

mandaré tu sonrisita-
jack o’lantern

pa Salinas
en un taxi tan deprisa

que tu cabeza
no va volar,

se quedará

orientado hacía
tras.

- Translated from English by Andy Riverbed


fair warning

Peter Peter
Pumpkin Eater

if you cut loose
with even
one more
of those

unbelievably
intrusive tuber farts

before the crucial
question on Who Wants
To Be A Millionaire?,

I will put your jack-o’
lantern grin

back on a bus
for Salinas so fast

your head will
not only spin

but stop

facing
backwards.

- Dennis Mahagin

De la collecíon, Canciones de infancia revisados por Chinaski
From the collection, Chinaski’s Revisionist Nursery Rhymes


Live Music!


The Winslows


La Cara Oculta


The Smoking Dopes


Alligator

How to Get Shit Done

Forget your past and do not fear your future; do not worry about your health or what your environment thinks of you; consume as little as possible while feeling overweight. Do not listen to authorities who slander your name; wake up and act on your first thought every day. Sing the songs you hear in your head.

Perseverance

Perseverance from Andy Riverbed on Vimeo.

That night, Rilly slept on an inflated mattress.

Becoming Famous

Riverbed and Rily both won free copies of Chris Killen's upcoming debut novel, the Bird Room. It's gotten a lot of praise; you can check out the career-changing video (for Rily and Riverbed) HERE.

If someone emails andy.riverbed (at) yahoo.com with the two verses that belong, respectively, to Rily and Riverbed, then they'll send that person some free stuff too, and then they'll make a video of it and eventually that'll be posted up, and that person who wins could possibly become a tad bit more famous; and if not, that person could make their own video and have it posted on the next Manual update, and not only will their name become a tad bit more famous, but maybe even their face and body.

So do that, or something.

On Wall-Attacks

People need to expand their hearing because the walls of the streets are singing songs, are telling stories. If you have trouble hearing, then open your eyes. To those who have sung back messages of warmth,


the culprits send appreciation of your enjoyment, or in some cases, concern; to those who leave words of hate,

the walls of the street only respect those who can make them sing better than they’ve already sung. The walls of the streets want to feel more alive.

To those who write messages en el cibernet, the culprits have eyes on the prowl for them; we can hear ever note you hum, every beat you tap.

And it has already begun; more culprits are appearing on the streets. The Riverbed would love say that he is the only one causing the walls to sing, that he is the only one the walls respect, but this is not true.


And some want to say we aren’t artists.


- Wall-attack #1, La Perla, Old San Juan, Puerto Rico

Fuck art, fuck public taste. Read the poets’ rights here:

slap in the face of public taste
by d. burliuk, alexander kruchenykh, v. mayakovsky, victor khlebnikov
15th december 1913

To the readers of our New First Unexpected.

We alone are the face of our Time. Through us the horn of time blows in the art of the word.

The past is too tight. The Academy and Pushkin are less intelligible than hieroglyphics.

Throw Pushkin, Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, etc., etc. overboard from the Ship of Modernity.

He who does not forget his first love will not recognize his last.

Who, trustingly, would turn his last love toward Balmont's perfumed lechery? Is this the reflection of today's virile soul?

Who, faintheartedly, would fear tearing from warrior Bryusov's black tuxedo the paper armorplate? Or does the dawn of unknown beauties shine from it?

Wash Your hands which have touched the filthy slime of the books written by those countless Leonid Andreyevs.

All those Maxim Gorkys, Kuprins, Bloks, Sologubs, Remizovs, Averchenkos, Chornys, Kuzmins, Bunins, etc. need only a dacha on the river. Such is the reward fate gives tailors.

From the heights of skyscrapers we gaze at their insignificance!...

We order that the poets' rights be revered:

1. To enlarge the scope of the poet's vocabulary with arbitrary and derivative words (Word-novelty).
2. To feel an insurmountable hatred for the language existing before their time.
3. To push with horror off their proud brow the Wreath of cheap fame that You have made from bathhouse switches.
4. To stand on the rock of the word "we" amidst the sea of boos and outrage.

And if for the time being the filthy stigmas of Your "Common sense" and "good taste" are still present in our lines, these same lines for the first time already glimmer with the Summer Lightening of the New Coming Beauty of the Self-sufficient (self-centered) Word.

David Burliuk, Alexander Kruchenykh, Vladimir Mayakovsky, Victor Khlevnikov


Bands!

Tons of shows this weekend in Gainesville. The Riverbed tried to catch them all; sorry to those he might’ve missed. He’s noticed that all the online hipsters are using Vimeo to show their footage, but it can’t hold that much footage, so this will probably be the only post in which the Riverbed uses Vimeo, even though it does upload a lot faster than YouTube. Enjoy.

Mad Happy

Mad Happy from Andy Riverbed on Vimeo.

ARS Phoenix

ARS Phoenix from Andy Riverbed on Vimeo.

Wayland Thorton and the Heavy Hands

Wayland Thorton and the Heavy Hands from Andy Riverbed on Vimeo.

Zombies Organize!

Zombies Organize! from Andy Riverbed on Vimeo.

The Nervous Systems


Savages


Raarfaction




Wayward Art Show

is January 30th. La Cara Oculta (del rock n rol) and Kenesaw Mountain Lenois will be playing.




Stephen Morse

has a book available to purchase; it's about his trials with cancer. Check that out HERE.

Mud-Luscious Press

MLP chapbooks are now available to purchase at the Wayward Council, and every month three volumes by three indie-writers will be available as well.



Soon the Wayward will have Tao Lin books, and MuuMuu House books as well.