How to Live a Healthy Life

At work, I was kind of feeling shitty;
I went in the bathroom and pulled
down my pants;

I pulled down my long underwear
and bent over to observe
my groin;

my right ball was swollen,
and when I fondled it,
on its bottom-side,
it felt solid.

I couldn't help but think of Tom Green;
remember that guy?

I tried sleeping;
I tried eating, again;
I stopped riding my bike,

but my ball was still swollen.